New Years Resolution? Self-care! Written by Georgia Charleston

As a mother, I understand the thoughts that consume your day-to-day. As I sit here and write this, I reflect on how the rest of my evening is timed, hour by hour, until I get some alone time… by which I will feel too tired or too guilty to engage in some much-needed self care. Most mothers (myself included) have reached the highest level of burn out, of which no spa trip or weekend away could cure. If you are experiencing feelings of burn out, you are not alone.

Quote from Motherly:

“You are burnt out because from the moment you announced your pregnancy or plan to adopt, you were bombarded with unsolicited advice and stories about how awful your upcoming experience would be.

You are burnt out because you had to return to work before you were ready, and then shamed for not breastfeeding your baby for long enough.

You are burnt out because you feel like you have to continually justify your decision to leave the paid work force.  

You are burnt out because you eat leftover goldfish and sandwich crusts for lunch.

You are burnt out because you are constantly juggling the pressure to spend ample time being truly present with your child with the pressure to have a clean and decluttered home.

You are burnt out because you after a day of constant toddler-touching, you feel like you should be fresh, sexy, and available for your partner.

You are burnt out because the news is exhausting and defeating.

You are burnt out because not a day goes by without something reminding you of the baby weight you still haven’t lost. Of that “perfect body” lost.

You are burnt out because you are constantly reading and hearing new advice about the “best” way to raise your child—and balancing that with the contradictory ways your family and in-laws are telling you to do it.

You are burnt out because no matter how many coupons you cut, how many vacations you don’t take, you still can’t find a way to dig yourself out of debt.

You are burnt out because you know your child shouldn’t watch another show on TV, but you just don’t know how to make dinner happen without it.

You are burnt out because your third babysitter in two months just gave their two-week notice, and the waitlist for daycare is impossibly long.

You are burnt out because you miss your friends.

You are burnt out because you’ve poured from your cup for so long that you’ve forgotten how to tilt the cup upright and save some for yourself”(Motherly, 2022, p.2).

You are not a bad Mom because you are burnt out, it really is just that hard.

Time for yourself is not indulgent or selfish, but a way to combat feelings of exhaustion, stress, and even depression that new mothers often feel. It is a New Year to recognize what is worth exploring and finding joy in the small moments. My hope is for you to implement a realistic daily self-care routine, even for just 5 minutes per day.

Ask yourself:

• What do you enjoy?
• What recharges you?
• How much time can you carve out each day?
• Who will support you?
• Who will encourage you?

Tips:

• Plan your self care
• Schedule self care
• Let others help
• Include your kids

Daily self-care ideas:

5 minutes: 

• “Call a friend
• Choose a theme song
• Practice mindfulness
• Apply great smelling body lotion
• Delete emails
• 5 minute makeup routine
• Savor a piece of fruit
• Make your bed
• Essential oils
• Yoga
• Add flowers to your home
• Drink water
• Light a candle
• Hold a power pose
• Practice gratitude
• Eat a piece of chocolate
• Take off your nail polish
• Sit outside
• Wash your face
• Free write
• Pray
• Self- massage
• Make fruit water
• Leg/ab circuit
• DO NOTHING
• Clean
• Open your windows
• Create and repeat affirmations
• Cuddle your kids” (Robinson, 2019)

15 minutes: 

• “Paint your nails
• Read a chapter of a book
• Make a smoothie
• Use social media
• Soak your feet
• Journal
• Send a card
• Take an intentional shower
• Do core work
• Get dressed in an outfit you love
• Listen to music in the car
• Get up 15 minutes early
• Do a hair or face mask
• Make a list of your friends to stay in touch with
• Color
• Have a dance party
• Create a bedtime routine
• Meditate
• Play a brain game on your phone
• Start a group text and plan a night out
• Enjoy a leisurely cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate” (Robinson, 2019)

30 minutes: 

• “Declutter
• Give yourself a facial
• Plan for a vacation
• Go for a walk
• Watch reality tv
• Plan a vacation
• Meal plan for the week
• Get a library card
• Work on a puzzle
• Facial
• Begin a creative project
• Get your eyebrows done
• Work on a budget
• Meet up with a friend for coffee
• Plan a date night
• Organize clothing for the week
• Take a bath
• Stretch” (Robinson, 2019)

1 hour: 

• “Meet a friend for lunch
• Go for a manicure
• Sleep in
• Go to a doctor’s appointment
• Unplug from electronics
• Get a massage from your partner
• Watch favorite TV show
• Volunteer
• Check out a flower nursery
• Attend therapy
• Go shopping- alone
• Go for a bike ride
• Create a self-care grab bag for yourself
• Take a nap
• Schedule your appointments
• Join or start a book club
• DO that thing you’ve been meaning to do
• Attend an exercise class” (Robinson, 2019)

2-4 Hour Activities:

• “Go see a movie
• Have a meal with a loved one
• Take a painting class
• Get your hair done
• Go for a hike
• Have a girls night out
• Drive to a nearby destination you have not yet explored
• Visit the zoo
• Organize your closet
• Design and create a space that is yours within your home
• Have an at-home date
• Have a no-plan afternoon
• Work out with a friend
• Clean one room of the house
• Have a group dinner
• Participate in a sport
• Listen to live music
• Host a clothing swap” (Robinson, 2019)

Entire day:

• “Go to a museum
• Spend the night at a local hotel
• Get your shopping done for holidays/birthdays/etc
• Attend a conference of a speaker you admire
• Spend the weekend away
• Work on a DIY project
• Visit a friend who lives far away
• Have a pool day
• Learn a new skill” (Robinson, 2019)

References

Robinson, S. (2019). Self- Care for Moms: 150+ Real Ways to Care for Yourself While Caring for Everyone Else.

Motherly. (2022). Self-Care is Not Enough to Fix How Much Moms are Burnt Out. Retrieved from https://www.mother.ly/health-wellness/self-care/self-care-is-not-enough-to-fix-how-much-moms-are-burnt-out/